Ruth Rehart-George

I share photography and writings from my heart. I find healing from trauma when I create.”
– Ruth Renee

 

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Web: ruthrenee.com

 

Who Am I

NEW FOR 2021

“WHO AM I” is a poem about feeling torn between two worlds – between being my authentic self or being who I think everyone else wants me to be.

 

Who Am I

I am bridge
translator of sorts
connector
Between two worlds

It’s hard being
between two places
Never fully in one
or the other

I long to walk
on the water
Swim deep
From shore to shore

Yet here I stay
I am bridge
It’s hard being the one
To take the first step

To trust again
After being hurt, betrayed
By those I love
By strangers
By myself

And yet

I take the first step

My words
my speech
Create worlds
new realities

Majestic trees
flowing rivers
purest lakes
gentle places to rest

I take the first step

I allow myself to reconnect
To God, to grace, to knowing
no one is perfect
To understanding
no one is worthy
except God alone

My eyes turn toward heaven
My heart turns toward heaven
I am bridge

To wonder
Curiosity
Imagination

Come with me
Take the first step
I am here
To walk beside
On this road less travelled

Let me be
a light, a path
To the place
where hope is found
Until you find
This hope, yourself

When you trust in God
with all your heart
Step
by step
by step

 

Remembering

This is about remembering who I was as a child before trauma at 7, and who I am now.

 

Remembering

Ice shattered

Unbreakable damn breaking

River overflowing

Rushing fiercely

Like never before

I am remembering

REMEMBERING

who I was

Before the trauma

Before the shame
m
Before the lies

Before the pain

Before I forgot

Now I know

Fire raging in my heart

I am an artist in recovery

© 5.13.2020 Ruth Renee

 

Set Free

Trapped words set free

My time is now

To verbalize what happened

The story of my life

symbolism in everything

Understanding God, truth, poetry

my gift, my talent, my identity

Seeds not buried under a rock

But planted in good soil

Watered
 enough to grow

Sprout and blossom

Rise up as a sapling tree

Young, small at first

Growing mature, tall, strong

A mighty live oak

Reaching up to the blue, blue sky

A mighty live oak

Filled with leaves year round

Sometimes needing pruning
Always bearing green, green leaves


Thank you, God

For sending me neighbors

Who showed me who You are

I learned who I really am

I accept the gifts and talents

You gave me before I was born

I am finding my purpose, my calling
My words no longer hidden
My talents no longer buried under a rock


I let go of guilt and shame


I cast my cares on you

Because you care for me

More than I will ever know

It is time now

My time is now

Trapped words set free

Trapped words set free

© 5.17.2020 Ruth Renee

 

FROM RUTH RENEE

Before recovery, I shape-shifted and people pleased to find love and acceptance. I never fully felt peace within until after I hit rock bottom and turned to God for comfort, for help.

I met God during a frightening stay in the hospital when I experienced a dissociative episode reliving trauma memories from my childhood. I was drawn to the books of Psalms and the 4 gospels of the New Testament during my stay in the psychiatric hospital. From there, my recovery journey really shifted as I began to accept and trust God.

My poem “WHO AM I” is about being “a bridge” for those who cannot yet see or hear God. My poem is about being a light on the path for those who don’t yet really know God or their authentic self. I call out to family, friends, and strangers to “come with me,” to “take the first step” on this recovery “road less travelled,” where we learn to “trust in God with all [our] heart- step by step by step…”

I also cry out to strangers, my friends, my family, and the world to “let me be” as I am, to accept me just as I am, imperfect and human.

I struggle with anxiety, depression, and complex PTSD. Past thoughts of hating myself attempt to return from time to time, but I choose not to listen. I no longer live in the world of self-hate or self-abandonment.

Today, I speak my truth in love, and share my authentic voice with all will hear and listen.

Today, I know that what I have to say is important. I know that I matter, that my authentic voice matters.

I choose to speak the truth in love. I choose to live more fully alive each and every new day.

Today, I live in the world of hope and never giving up, the world of climbing every mountain, the world of giving myself permission to rest when I am weary and tired.

Today, my peace comes from trusting in and holding onto God with all my heart.

Now, I choose to step out of darkness into the light of forgiveness and love, into the joy of being my authentic self while trusting in God with all my heart.”

Today I choose to authentically love and forgive God, others, and myself.

Will you join me?

 

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